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If you are reading this article, it means that you care about your child's future. And it depends a lot on the climate in the family and your parenting style. In this article we will talk about the differences in family upbringing and what strategies parents should choose to make their child feel comfortable at all stages of growing up, successfully develop and confidently enter adulthood

Parenting style in psychology is understood as a system of standard practices that parents use when raising a child: rewards, punishments, displays of affection, setting limits, family discussion of issues, sensitivity to the child's needs and many other things combine to give a parenting style characteristic of an individual family. Classification of styles can be made according to various criteria. A coherent and scientifically sound concept in the late 1960s was proposed by Diana Baumrind, a researcher of parent-child relationships. She identified three styles of family parenting (then a fourth was added to them), which assess parenting in terms of demanding/non-demanding (controlling the child's actions and restrictions) and responsiveness/non-responsiveness to the child's needs. The distribution of styles is as follows:

Authoritarian parents are usually rigid and strict. They demand complete obedience and make high demands of the child, but do not respond to the feelings and desires of the child himself. Parents who practice this style of parenting have a rigid set of rules and expectations that the child must follow strictly. Authoritarian families may use corporal punishment for disobedience. When a child does not understand certain prohibitions, the only explanation for him is the phrase: "Because I said so". This is not to say that authoritarian parents do not love their child: just that they are sure that they know what is best for the child.

Key signs: excessive demands, strict punishments, possible hyperopedic, lack of interest in the child.

Influence on the child. What are the consequences of an authoritarian parenting style? According to Baumrind's research, a child in such a family grows up less cheerful, more capricious and prone to stress. He is accustomed since childhood to restrictions and that everything is decided by parents. Therefore later, even as an adult, it is difficult for him to make an independent choice - to choose a profession or arrange a personal life, because he has not tried to make important decisions before.

The authoritative (harmonious) style is a child-oriented approach, the task of parents in this case is to help the child to grow and become independent. This style of parenting combines demandingness to the child with caring and parental responsiveness. Parents understand how the child feels and help him or her cope with emotions at every stage of development. Restrictions and rules are present, but they are reasonable and understood by the child. Violations of the rules are not punished, but are discussed in the family circle, so that the child can understand the consequences of his or her behavior.

Key attributes: the norm, without deviations to hyper- or hypo-treatment, emotional connection with the child, satisfaction of the child's material, domestic and spiritual needs without condoning the child.

Influencing the child. The authoritative style allows the child to go through all stages of growing up painlessly, as there is an authoritative mentor around, who gives the child the freedom he or she needs to explore independently, while still requiring age-appropriate maturity. As a result, children of authoritative parents are more social and successful; it is easier for them to win the love of those around them because they have ideas about social frameworks. They are prepared for adulthood and can make decisions on their own. This style of parenting is believed to produce the happiest and most well-adjusted children.

Liberal (condescending) was singled out a little later. It is characterized by a high degree of responsiveness to the feelings and desires of the child and the absence of parental requirements. In liberal families freedom and independence are highly appreciated, parents try not to set any limits and, basically, rely on reasoning and explanations when child-parent conflicts arise.

Key attributes: the emotional connection between parent and child, the gentleness of punishments.

Influence on the child. Children of liberal parents are usually happy, independent, it is with this style of parenting is most likely that the child will grow up creative and talented, able to think outside the box. But there is the other side of the coin - the possible problems in social life: children of liberal parents show a low level of self-control due to lack of discipline, they may have conflicts with the team, as they find it difficult to obey social requirements.

A permissive style often develops when parents are emotionally or physically absent and uninterested in the child's upbringing. They are unresponsive to the child's needs and are not demanding in their behavior; their task is limited to providing for the child's life needs. The connivant style can be formed either under the influence of the idea of complete freedom in self-actualization of children or from indifference to the fate of the child.

Key attributes: hypo-pedagogy, lack of interest in the child, insufficient requirements-obligations, failure to meet the spiritual needs of the child.

Influence on the child. As a result, children without communication with their parents feel the need for a patron, so they easily fall under another's influence and exhibit deviant (asocial) behavior. Children of such "indifferent" parents suffer from social incompetence, academic and behavioral problems, and may have deviations in psychosocial development.

Researchers distinguish some other - private parenting styles, for instance, egocentric parenting ("everything for the child"), anxious and anxious parenting (constant fear of losing the child), parenting styles of specific cultures and ethnic groups (Old Believers, Muslims, American Indians, etc.). We think it is important to warn parents against so-called chaotic (inconsistent) parenting. More often this style is formed in families where there are contradictions between family members - mother, father, grandmother, etc. The child in a situation of inconsistent decisions quickly learns to manipulate the interests of adults and achieve what he or she wants. However, later on, the habit of maneuvering leads to the fact that it is difficult for the child to establish close relationships with anyone, and mistrust causes problems in the personal sphere.

You're probably convinced that the most harmonious style of parenting can be considered an authoritative style. Children grow up to be independent, mentally balanced and socially adapted, which are important ingredients for a future happy life.